Today marks a year since I landed back in the States from Kuwait. Feels good man.
11 September 2012
10 September 2012
The Fray - 1961
I really dig the bridge to this song:
"We're broken, we're battered
We're torn up and we're shattered
We turn back on each other
The moment that it mattered
The curtain is shaking
It's bending and it's breaking
And I'll be with you in the end (until the end)"
I just want to tear down some walls because I am tired of strife and conflict, but part of the problem is that I'm the one who caused them to be built in the first place...
"We're broken, we're battered
We're torn up and we're shattered
We turn back on each other
The moment that it mattered
The curtain is shaking
It's bending and it's breaking
And I'll be with you in the end (until the end)"
I just want to tear down some walls because I am tired of strife and conflict, but part of the problem is that I'm the one who caused them to be built in the first place...
09 September 2012
On Iraq, Identity, and Loyalty
I know I haven't posted much here recently - my original idea for my blog this year was to rehash stuff that had happened in Iraq, and then reflect on it... but perhaps it has been more productive for me not to relive every single moment, and to move on from the worst of my experiences. I had a lot of bitterness stored up until late August, when I realized that it was literally making me sick and was able to release some of it in a cathartic fashion. Though the process was incomplete, it has allowed me to deal with more of the negative aspects of my life in a more healthy fashion, and practice forgiveness for a good friend.
I am still working on my plans to establish myself, and to become the man that God has intended for me to become. Part of it is finding balance in my identity, and seeing if there's a way to bridge "Sergeant Yao" and "Yaobert." Quite honestly, being in the presence of my old friends at two weddings and an engagement was extremely rejuvenating, and helped me to re-kindle a suppressed part of my "Yaobert" personality that I thought had largely died in Iraq - sure, I wasn't always happy in undergrad, but a lot of my happiness and ability to enjoy life had been largely dulled, I feel. Exploring a graduate school program in DC (nothing concrete, but I'm quite likely to enroll in it) has also been productive, and I will post future updates about that as I work out the details.
In discussions with a few good friends over the past year or two, "loyal" is an adjective that some have used to describe me. I must confess though, I strive to be loyal because it was only after I joined the Army Reserve that I was truly able to appreciate my past friendships and how poorly I had treated some of my best friends in the past. I hope I can fix them, but there's a distinct possibility that I may be three-four years too late... we'll see.
I am still working on my plans to establish myself, and to become the man that God has intended for me to become. Part of it is finding balance in my identity, and seeing if there's a way to bridge "Sergeant Yao" and "Yaobert." Quite honestly, being in the presence of my old friends at two weddings and an engagement was extremely rejuvenating, and helped me to re-kindle a suppressed part of my "Yaobert" personality that I thought had largely died in Iraq - sure, I wasn't always happy in undergrad, but a lot of my happiness and ability to enjoy life had been largely dulled, I feel. Exploring a graduate school program in DC (nothing concrete, but I'm quite likely to enroll in it) has also been productive, and I will post future updates about that as I work out the details.
In discussions with a few good friends over the past year or two, "loyal" is an adjective that some have used to describe me. I must confess though, I strive to be loyal because it was only after I joined the Army Reserve that I was truly able to appreciate my past friendships and how poorly I had treated some of my best friends in the past. I hope I can fix them, but there's a distinct possibility that I may be three-four years too late... we'll see.
22 July 2012
On Grace
I'm still here, I'm still standing right? I can't tangibly describe that feeling, but it's like going through the worst time of your life and kind of rebounding from it. It's refreshing to be trying different things and still going on somewhat of an adventure, but at home with friends.
17 July 2012
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