On Memorial Day

Memorial Day means more to me now that I'm a part time soldier, and I would like to make it to DC sometime to observe the occasion. We lost a few people in Iraq during the final year, and I think it is important to remember what they gave up.

On Grudges

Today is the anniversary of the end of our national grudge against Osama Bin Laden, and I personally was talking to a senior NCO about one of my own personal grudges. It reminded me of a conversation with Josh Shyu - don't remember everything word for word now, but he said that I was the worst at holding grudges when we were talking about a past situation. I think it's a bit of both - I've changed and have been able to let a lot of things go, but there was shit that went down in Iraq that I may never forgive.

On Gratitude

These days, I find it really easy to get aggravated - slow drivers, red lights, etc. In particular, the Subway that I usually go to has a new crop of employees who are very inefficient in their sandwich artistry, to use polite terms... but then I think about how amused I used to be by people throwing a fit at Mickey D's, and I wonder if I've lost sight of how benign first world problems really are...

So I am thankful that:
- I have a job, even if it's not the most glamorous in the world
- I survived Iraq without PTSD or any other major injuries that I'm aware of
- Dad is still alive
- I still talk to two of my oldest friends in this life

60

Tonight, on my dad's 60th birthday, we went to visit him at the hospital. It's discomforting to me, knowing that I used to watch him play basketball at church 20 years ago and being full of vigor and energy, compared to how frail he is now. He's not lacking in determination, still walking around with his IV tether, but he's physically not the man he used to be and it's very tough for me to watch, and tougher to verbalize. When I came home on leave last year, it was surprising to me just how much age had changed him, and I didn't know how to deal with it... I still don't, for that matter.

On Relationships

God is clearly conspiring against me or something, because this shit is getting ridiculous - it's really funny, but it's really complicated!