Balance

I really don't like posting my most private thoughts online but I think if there's been one predominant theme in my life that I grapple with, it's finding balance in everything. I mean, I'm up this late writing down my thoughts right?

I want to be productive, but I also need to relax. I want to hang out with all my good friends, but I need time alone to decompress. I enjoy being Ann Arbor, but I anticipate leaving the US for my deployment. Overall, what I think I struggle with most is trying to find the balance between allowing God's will in my life versus my attempts to meet Him. Where is the line? Perhaps I'm aware, but am simply too stubborn to realize it.

I try to have a positive outlook and joyful attitude in everything I do, one reason being that life is much more interesting and enjoyable that way, and the alternative is quite bitter and dreadful. That is, if God hasn't ordained a higher purpose to our communal existence here on Earth, then it's really a horrible waste of time. There's a quote by C.S. Lewis that I find striking - "It's hardly complimentary to God that we should choose Him as an alternative to Hell: yet even this He accepts."

If there is a point to existence, then let us be glad in it, even in our struggles! Even if God is simply testing our character, at least there's purpose. The fact that God has numbered the hairs on our head and the days of our lives, however long or short, should be a comfort. I must admit that I haven't always seen things this way, and it's not easy for me to do, but I gotta try.